Meant To Be
by BlackRose108
Summary: Oneshot. An in-book take on Alek and Deryn's conversation in chapter 30 of Goliath. Both Alek and Deryn know they're meant to be together, but is fate just as giving? Or are the brewing feelings between them nothing but a daft longing? Alek/Deryn


**Hey guys, while typing chapter three of "Kraken" I came across a strange craving to write about the chapter in Goliath where Deryn was stuck in her room after she hurt her knee, and Alex was keeping her company. **

**That chapter really showed me how much Alek really cares about Deryn, considering all he did for her secret and then the cute conversation they had about becoming immigrants together and how they're mean to be. It was inspiring, to say the least. **

**So, yeah, this fic was born. It's a oneshot, not very long, but I think it gets the point across. **

**And for those of you who want a direct reference as to when this fic starts, it's the last line on page 389. **

Meant to Be

"As you said in Tokyo," Alek mentioned. "We're meant to be together."

Deryn sighed, wanting to agree with Alek and perhaps finally settled the floating emotions between them, but she promised so wouldn't lie to him. For all the world she wanted to believe they were meant to be, and then perhaps the longing in her heart whenever he was around would be worth wild and not just some commoner's daft want for a royal boy. But if what he said really was true, then why had they been born a prince and a common girl?

She sighed again, placing a hand over her face to hide the emotions surely visible in her eyes, and Alek only frowned.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

"Aye," Deryn started to say, but then a pang of guilt crossed over her.

No barking secrets.

Certainly, she could lie for something as simple as how she felt at the moment, but she had made the mistake of looking at him when he asked her, and once she met his eyes, she couldn't tell him a lie even if it meant her life.

"Maybe something," she rested on, figuring the answer couldn't get her into too much trouble. Alek's frown remained and he reached out to take her hand, squeezing it slightly. "Do you really think we're mean to be together?" Deryn choked out, her voice was small, barely a whisper, but somehow Alek heard her anyways. It was as if him taking her hand was the last bit of coaxing she needed, and the question rolled off her tongue not even of her own accord.

"You're the one who said it first, Deryn." Alek laughed, not noticing the seriousness of the situation.

"Daft prince," Bovril said softly from the window sill, the beastie not even facing the two, but still paying attention. Its eyes shimmered as it looked out the window and Alek suddenly turned his gaze back to Deryn. She looked away, eyes glistening as much as Bovril's. She was serious, and he could tell now.

"Of course I do," Alek finally answered, his voice deep. "I wouldn't lie to you, you know that." He said so just as softly, but the weight of his words was a heavy truth on Deryn's shoulders. Not that it was uncomfortable. Just him saying that filled her with warmth, and a small smile swept across her face, visibly relaxing her.

"Aye, I suppose I was just being a bit daft for a moment, that's all." Deryn told him and offered a squeeze to his hand as well, a moistening between their palms, but neither of them dared to let go.

"Happens to the best of us." Alek smiled, locking his eyes with Deryn for a long moment. She swallowed hard, the unbearable want to kiss him returning in her again. He was right there before her saying they were meant to be, the moment seemed right, and they were all alone in her cabin. But, there was still that wall, the only thing she knew stood between Alek accepting her feelings for him, and no amount of wanting in the world could fix the fact that—whether they were meant to be or not—they _couldn't_ be together if Alek was going to take the throne.

Not even noticing her actions, Deryn realized she had sat up slowly, bringing herself closer to him just by a hair, but enough so that his breath hitched and he let go of her hand abruptly. She frowned.

"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time and the only thing stopping Deryn from blushing was Bovril's chuckles from the sill.

"Daft commoner." Bovril said instead, toppling on its back and rolling in laughter. Deryn glowered at the beastie. It's amusement in the situation becoming annoying very quickly.

"I should probably go get your dinner." Alek stood, heading for the door to get Deryn's dinner from the middy's mess as he had been doing for the past few days. "It's getting late."

"Aye," Deryn let her head fall in some sort of defeat. It wasn't the first time she had wanted to kiss him and almost made the move to do so, and she was certain it wouldn't be the last. Not if they kept being as close as they were. "B-but Alek!" She cried out for him, almost too loudly for her own liking. She extended a hand towards him at the door, an almost desperate look in her eyes.

"Yes?"Alek answered. His voiced sounded like the last bit of control he had over himself was about to snap. His fists balled into the sides of his pants and when he looked up at her, biting his lip and quivering. Deryn almost wondered if he was going to kiss her just then as well.

"Thank you," She said softly. Not meeting his eyes. In her defense of not keeping things from him, she had honestly forgotten what it was she was really going to blurt out if sense hadn't caught up with her just in time, but she could make an educated guess.

Alek nodded with a tight frown, closing the door behind him slowly and the click of the door echoed throughout her room. Leaving her in the same hallow loneliness she felt every time he left her, even if it was just to get dinner.

Touching her lips softly Deryn leaned back against the pillows, ignoring the bees rumbling in her knee at all the excitement. Bovril hopped down from the window sill, running up the bed and making a comfortable spot next to her pillow. The beastie curled up next to her, and Deryn could feel it's fur tickling her ear.

She hated when she got like this. But what did she expect being locked in a room with him all barking day long? He fetched her meals, helped her exercise, and even carried her to the heads of the gastric channel and guarded her so she could go. And every waking moment was a huge tease to her.

They were closer than ever at that point, best friends, allies, and everything they could possibly be in between. Her urge to kiss him was just a cover, making everything still seem harmless between them, but even Bovril could tell something grander than simple feelings was brewing between them.

They really were meant to be, Deryn realized. But that thought along wasn't what scared her…it was the thought that even though both of them knew that, they still wouldn't be together in the end.

0o0

"Fetching Dylan's food again, I see." Newkirk asked Alek with a smirk. Alek nodded simply, deep in thought as he grabbed two plates of potatoes and string beans. He knew string beans weren't Deryn's favorite, but she needed to eat if she was going to keep her strength up to heal her knee. He always ate less for her, anyways. Giving her the last corner of his meal so she could get enough to eat.

"You seem rather quiet these days, Prince Aleksander." Newkirk continued to speak, even though it was obvious Alek wasn't in the mood. "Ever since Dylan got hurt you've been locked up in his cabin, almost like you're injured as well."

"Well there's not much for me to do here," Alek answered. "And Dylan would go mad if he didn't have any company."

"I suppose so," Newkirk leered once again, giving Alek a playful push. "I was thinking of paying Mr. Sharp a visit myself, but I figured you have that covered in occupation category."

Alek stumbled backwards, almost dropping the cups he'd reached for. "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked defensively, and he felt himself blushing. Alek would've smacked himself if he could; he couldn't blush behind Deryn to the crewmembers, and especially not one who was friends with her.

"No need to get all ruffled, your highness," Newkirk raised his hands in mock surrender. "I'm just glad you and Mr. Sharp seem to be in a good place again. It was rather dreadful when you two weren't speaking. Dylan, poor lad, he tried to hide it so well, but everyone could tell how upset he was."

"Really?" Alek's voice broke at the thought. He knew he had been completely miserable without Deryn's company, but the fact that Deryn had been so disoriented without him made him happy and guilty all the same time. The guilt overrode his smug sense of happiness soon enough, though, and a soft pain in his stomach bubbled forth.

He remembered the night he'd found out Deryn was a girl, and how he had made her cry, to the point were tears fell quietly from her eyes throughout the whole conversation. The pain in his stomach intensified.

"Oh, yes. It was quite a sore sight. But, I suppose the ground it always thicker after the rain, right?"

"Right," Alek cleared his throat, not knowing if he was able to speak more about it. He clutched the stack of two piled plates and cups he managed to balance in his hands, suddenly filled with a need to see Deryn again. It had only been a few minutes apart, but Alek found that every moment apart from her was becoming too much. And suddenly, the pain in his stomach was replaced by a pain in his heart…it almost ached for her. "I should probably get this food to her-_him_." Alek corrected himself quickly enough that he knew Newkirk didn't notice, but it was the first time he had even made such a slip up.

When Alek found out Deryn was a girl, he knew separating calling her Dylan and Deryn would be just as tricky as referring to her as a 'him' or a 'her', but he seemed to managed seamlessly. Perhaps it was just late and he wasn't thinking straight? Or maybe it was because he was thinking too much about her in the way he knew he shouldn't?

Quickly, Alek nodded to Newkirk and made his way out of the mess, back to Deryn's cabin. The way to her room seemed to be etched in his memory, and his foot carried him there blindly while his mind still raced.

0o0

Alek placed the plates and cups on the ground while he opened the door. Deryn was snoozing quietly, Bovril next to her pillow. Alek could only smile as he brought the plates in a shut the door. He'd only seen Deryn asleep a few times, but even back when he only knew her as Dylan, he always recalled how peacefully stilled she looked in slumber. There was no smile on her face, but Alek could see a relaxed calmness about her. It was those times when he could really say she looked like the true girl she was. Fine features and all.

Alek put Deryn's plate on her stomach, immediately jostling her awake with a small snort. She swore as she woke, seeming alarmed only to notice it was Alek before her, and food on her stomach.

"It's just me," Alek laughed a little, pushing her plate more towards her. "But since you're tired, you should eat quickly."

"Aye," Deryn mumbled, already stuffing the potatoes into her mouth. Alek smiled as she ate at how, in the blink of an eye, the peacefully sleeping Deryn Sharp had turned back into the witty midshipman she was at heart. Though even at the change, Alek's feelings didn't waver. The only thought in his mind at the moment was _what_ exactly those feelings were.

He scrapped his leftover food onto Deryn's plate, doing it without her consent whatsoever.

"Shouldn't you save some for Bovril?" Deryn asked, a mouth still full of food, as she looked over at the sleeping loris.

"I'll feed him before I head to my room." Alek answered calmly. "I just want to make sure you have enough to eat." He reminded her. "We might have bigger portions since we've restocked, but a middy's rations still aren't enough when you're trying to heal."

Alek saw Deryn smile into her fork before she took her last bites, and with one large gulp of her food she finally looked up at him, a wide grin on her face that he couldn't help but return.

"You're so properly Clanker, you know that?" Deryn said, but her smile never faded.

"That is what you like about me, isn't it?" Alek dared to ask, and before he could even think the words through, the sentence was already finished.

"Aye, it is." Deryn answered just as shamelessly, but let out a breath and fell back against the pillows. Her belly was full, and her exhaustion was becoming more evident.

"You're tired." Alek noted.

"Aye, it has been a long day," she smirked. "Sitting around and doing nothing can really take a lot out of you."

Alek frowned, even in the humor of her sarcasm.

"I know this must be hard for you," he offered softly.

"You being here helps." She sank into the pillows more, her words softer and her eyes closing slowly. "It's nice to have a friend here." She winced, saying the words seeming to hurt her somehow, and Alek realized hearing them had the same effect on him.

"I'm glad." Alek whispered, placing a flat hand on her forehead, almost like he was checking her temperature. But, instead, he smoothed it over her hair, calming her enough so that she closed her eyes and her mouth relaxed into a sleepy grin.

And that calm, relaxed face returned to Deryn as Alek smoothed his hand over her cheek shortly before pulling his hand away. She hummed in contentment, lightly snoring seconds later.

The pain in Alek's chest returned, but it was lighter that time, only a flutter that seemed to radiate through his entire body soon enough.

It was becoming unbearable, the tension between them. Alek could feel the unspoken words, the uncertainty, and those feelings between them. It wasn't like Deryn secret of being a girl, or Alek's secret letter from the pope….this was different, but Alek wasn't sure either of them knew the extent of what was going on at the moment.

He stared at her a little longer, trying to identify what he was feeling as he did so many times since he found out Deryn was a girl, only to find that a certain part of him—the part of him that was so 'properly Clanker' and loyal to the fact that he was still a prince—wouldn't let him finish the quest within his own heart. But the fact that he had to search within his own heart meant one thing:

Deryn was in there, but as _what_ was what the burning question.

She was his best friend, his ally, the only person he could tell everything to and know that the secret was safe and vice versa. But what was that extra thing, Alek wondered? The one that made his heart ache and flutter for her, and made him stay in her cabin for all those days simply because he couldn't imagine not being around her?

He shook his head, standing quickly and grabbing Bovril up from its position next to Deryn's pillow and headed for the door. He resisted the urge to look back at her one last time before closing the door behind him, and closed his eyes shut tightly before hearing the door close in a loud click.

The beastie had woken, and it's eyes were looking up at Alek with a worry that surprised him. If anything, Alek expected Bovril to be amused by his confusion, but the loris looked just as baffled as he did. He pet the beastie's fur gently.

"What do you think, Bovril?" Alek asked quietly, making his way down the long halls back to the middy's mess to feed the perspicacious loris.

"Meant to be together." Was all the loris offered.

**I actually liked how this turned out, exploring Alek and Deryn's minds is always good times. **

**I really felt like after Alek helped Deryn in Mexico that it was all said and done that they were both mutually wanting each other. And as I mentioned before, Alek's caring for Deryn is just so undeniable. **

**Well, I hope you all liked this, and, of course, check out my post-Goliath story "Kraken". **

**Reviews are always welcomed. **


End file.
